A Beautiful Weekend

For the second time in my life, I was actually more than just a spectator at someone's wedding. The first was when I was probably about five years old. I was a ring bearer at the wedding of some relative I don't even remember. The second was this past weekend at the wedding of my friends Trevor and Rebecca. This time, I was a groomsman along with my friends Tim and Gabe.

I first met Trevor during my sophomore year of college. By this time, he and Tim were already friends, and Tim and I had just started talking to each other. Soon, my friend Gabe, whom I knew through his roommate Shaun, a friend of mine from high school, started hanging out with us and we formed a powerful superhero team that saved the world countless times. (Actually, we just played Mario Kart 64 a lot, but the other thing sounded more exciting.)

Gabe was first to leave us, being claimed by graduation. Immediately after, he married Jill at one of the nicest weddings I've been to thus far. Tim, Trevor and our ex-friend Joe were there as well, and we all had a blast at what we termed the "kids' table." We found ourselved quite amused by the fact that the rest of the guests were most likely looking at us wondering just who the hell we were and why we couldn't stop laughing. Hopefully, our joviality was controlled during the ceremony itself, but something about the pastor's "Gabe, love Jill. Jill, love Gabe," just about made us pee our pants.

Tim, Trevor and I went on to share an apartment for two years, and when Tim graduated, Trevor and I shared a place for an additional year. During this time, I met Becca at the video store at which I worked. She would come in occasionally, and since she rented cool stuff, I would chat with her. When I found out that she was a computer art major like Trevor, I asked her if she knew him. Soon after, they began talking. In the year after Tim left, Trevor and Becca began seeing a lot more of each other, and it wasn't too difficult to see what was going on. (Since I also began dating that year, Trevor and I joked that Tim had been the element that had held us back. Of course, my relationship dissolved without Tim's presence, so I suppose that disproves that theory.) By December, they were full-force together, and thankfully, they weren't one of those couples that made you sick to see but rather very inspirational. It made you happy to see that two people could find each other and compliment each other so excellently.

After graduation, Tim, Trevor, Gabe and I all stayed in contact and would get together for several weekends throughout the year. During one of those weekends, Trevor gave us the happy news that he and Becca had gotten engaged. This wasn't a normal engagement, though. It was actually somewhat of a dual engagement. Becca is a rather willful and forward-thinking woman, so it came as no surprise to us that she was actually the first of the couple to ask for the other's hand in marriage. Trevor, of course, accepted and decided to return the favor. (His story is slightly more memorable due to the fact that he somehow managed to time it just about perfectly with Chicago's Fourth of July fireworks.)

Tim and Trevor (and I, to a lesser extent) were fairly excited about the initial date of the wedding, November 5, 2005. According to Back to the Future, it would be the 50th anniversary of the invention of time travel. Something didn't quite work out with that date, though, so instead it became November 12, 2005. This still worked just fine as it was the 50th anniversary of the Enchantment Under the Sea dance and the first kiss of George McFly and Lorraine Baines. Man, we're dorks.

Several months ago, I received a phone call from Trevor where he asked me to be a member of his wedding party. Needless to say, I was quite honored, and as I'd figured, he also asked Tim and Gabe to do the same. At that moment, I already knew that it would be a great occasion, and I found myself looking forward to it very much.

I took the day off on Friday, November 11, and Tim (who also lives in Cleveland) and I drove down to Dayton for the rehearsal. The wedding was to be held in the Gothic Cloister of the Dayton Art Institute, which looks like it was built specifically to host weddings. (So does the Italian Cloister, but it's open to the air, not the most ideal setting for a Fall wedding.) We arrived about an hour early and grabbed some fast food, since we figured we wouldn't get to eat otherwise before the rehearsal dinner. Adding a cheeseburger and fries to the Sausage McMuffin with Egg I'd had for breakfast, I could almost hear the sinister strains of a soundtrack foreshadowing something, but I ignored it.

Tim, Gabe and I met Jeff, the co-best man along with Trevor's brother Jared, for the first time at the rehearsal. Jeff has been Trevor's best friend since childhood, and we'd heard some epic tales about this man. The way I would always describe him to those who may know Trevor but not him was to say that he was like Trevor if he'd been born without a conscience. He's someone who thrives on making jokes that are designed to make others feel uncomfortable. In fact, the first time he met Becca, the very first thing he said to her was, "I hope you don't mind, but I took Trevor's virginity." During the rehearsal, when each of us was introducing ourselves, he said, "Hi, my name is Jeff, and I used to date Becca." We were all very amused.

To be honest, I was almost afraid that Jeff would just attack us on sight, but that turned out not to be the case. He was very nice and quite funny (which makes sense, considering that Trevor is one of if not the funniest person I've ever known) Despite the fact that you could occasionally see a slightly off kind of look in his eyes, Trevor told us that Jeff had mellowed out quite a bit since meeting his girlfriend Allison (whom Tim and I could swear we've seen someone who looks exactly like her).

After the rehearsal, the five of us (Trevor, Jeff, Gabe, Tim and myself) went to pick up our tuxedos. I was impressed at the outfit, especially the fact that they came with neckties rather than the traditional bowties. Having worn a couple tuxes before, I also got to feel a little smarter than a couple of my fellow groomsmen, since I could instruct them on some of their finer points, such as how to wear the cufflinks and how to put the slacks back on the hanger.

The rehearsal dinner was at one of my favorite restaurants, the Spaghetti Warehouse. Tim and I sat across from Trevor's sister Becky and her boyfriend Cody, both of whom were very easy to talk to. I also sat next to the pastor and his wife who are very nice people. During the dinner, Trevor handed us our groomsmen gifts, which turned out to be $50 gift cards to Best Buy. Easily the best groomsman gift I'll probably ever receive. Also included were a pair of black socks. Very fortuitous, since I didn't think to bring any.

We all retired to the hotel afterwards (except for Gabe, who was staying with relatives in Cincinnati), which was obvioulsy newly built and very nice. Trevor came by to visit with me and Tim before he went to bed and it was during this conversation that we discovered that he and Becca had payed for the wedding almost entirely themselves. Out of politeness, I won't disclose the amount, but it is more than half my current salary. Practically the only things they didn't pay for were the wedding party's outfits and the hotel rooms. To tell you the truth, though, I think that this is definitely the way to go. I often get the impression that a lot of parents try to hijack their children's weddings and impose what they want rather than what the couple wants. By making all arrangements themselves, they ensured that it was truly a reflection of their personalities and that it was entirely about them, as it should have been.

The following morning, the groomsmen (sans Gabe) went to breakfast at Bob Evans, where I added a ham and cheese omelette into my digestive system. Jared brought his nigh-two-year-old son Landon along with him, since his wife Lisa was in the wedding party and was getting ready with the rest of the bridesmaids. Like any two-year-old, Landon was full of energy and wouldn't sit still. The only time Jared got to eat was when Jeff gave his cell phone to Landon for him to play with. I picked up Trevor's check, thinking that would put us at about even and we headed back to the hotel.

Since Tim and I wouldn't be staying in Dayton that night, we checked out at 11:00 AM and changed into our tuxes in Cody and Trevor's room. Soon after, Jeff dropped by to give us a ride and mentioned that Trevor was starting to get a little antsy about people being on time, as he'd called Jeff's cell phone a few times in the hour in between. Aside from that, the ladies were taking much longer at their hair appointments than had been anticipated, so he wanted to be sure the other photographs could be completed on time.

My friend Anna had hung out with our group on several occasions, and Tim had planned to invite his friend Candace to come along, so I figured I'd ask Anna to be my guest. Well, it turned out that Candace couldn't make it after all, but Anna still wanted to go, so she did. She arrived rather early, so I found myself a bit concerned that she would be frightfully bored, seeing as how I wouldn't be able to hang out with her very much.

The photographs went more or less smoothly; the photographer seemed to know what he was doing. Tim and I found ourselves quite taken with his assistant (Tim more so than I), but she had unfortunately already had her own wedding day. Either that or she wears a couple rings to avoid being hit on by single groomsmen at weddings. No matter the truth, I felt secure in the fact that I wouldn't be charming her that night.

The ceremony started around 2:30 or so. We each filed in with our respective partners, mine being Jared's wife Lisa. We walked slower than what I thought was necessary and then stood in our places for what would seem like hours. When Becca had finally taken her place at Trevor's side, the pastor began his sermon. (Unfortunately, at no point did he say, "Trevor, love Becca. Becca, love Trevor." Not that it works as well with bisyllabic names; it just would have been funny as hell.) As he continued, I began to notice just how uncomfortable my shoes were and also how painful it was not to slouch. In fact, I'd say my back still hurts from that, except that would be lying.

Before the ceremony, Landon had begun to go through separation anxiety due to both his parents' participation in the wedding party. Trevor had already said that if this were to occur that he should just be allowed to join them rather than spend the whole time in the audience crying his eyes out. So partway through, Lisa turned and motioned for Trevor's mom to let Landon walk over to her. From then on, all was well.

Trevor and Becca had memorized their vows. Trevor recited them flawlessly. Becca had to stop at one point because she was crying. It was at that point that I was very overcome with emotion myself and I felt my eyes welling up. This is the first time I can ever recall being brought to tears by a wedding. This was probably the first wedding that had been on this personal a level for me. Two of my friends had gotten married previously, but it probably made the difference that I had been there to see Trevor and Becca's relationship develop from the beginning and in a decent amount of detail. And it also probably helped that I was more than just an observer. I was part of this thing. I was helping these two people become one. These two people who were so in love, and you could see it in their faces.

I told myself to stop being such a wuss, and this allowed me to maintain my composure, but just barely. This feeling continued until we came around to file in for the reception (which was held in the same venue). At this point, things had become a little more celebratory. In order to keep with the above mentioned nerdy theme, the wedding party entered to Alan Silvestri's theme to Back to the Future. We walked in in the same order we'd entered earlier and sat at the table.

The dinner was just as nice as the rest of the wedding had been, and it was interrupted only a few times. The first time was for Jared's best man speech. The second time was for Trevor and Becca's first dance. For their song, they had picked Sarah McLachlan's rendition of "The Rainbow Connection," which I'd never heard before. Those who have would probably have no problem understanding why I once again had to wage war with my tear ducts. Everything about that moment was beautiful.

Not so beautiful was the other war I would wage and lose that night. During dinner, a woman from Becca's family introduced herself to myself and Tim and began talking. I have to admit, I really didn't feel like talking to her that much, but I didn't want to be rude, nor did I want her to think she'd driven me away. It became hard to fight that urge, however, as my digestive system decided to revolt on me. After she left, I made a mad dash to the restroom. I emerged later with a serious stomach cramp, making me unable to even contemplate trying any of the wedding cake. Instead, I could only listen to people tell me just how great it was. Bastards.

Before the night was over, some chucklehead requested Garth Brooks's "Friends In Low Places." Now, I had already been slightly distressed at the presence of a couple Jimmy Buffett songs, but this was just crossing the line. To add insult to injury, whoever had done it also demanded that the wedding party gather on the dance floor and sing it to the newlyweds. Almost none of the groomsmen (except maybe Jared) knew the words to this song, so my singing was something to the effect of, "Well, I've got friends in low places/hrrmmrrr ssssmmmmrrrr/fffffmmmmmmmrrrrrr ffffllllllllll/OOOOOOASIS!" The final insult occurred directly afterwards when the DJ played Gwen fucking Stefani's "Hollaback Girl." Luckily, none of these things (my digestive system included) could ruin the evening for me.

The reception ended at 6:00 PM, and Tim and I caught a ride back to the hotel with Jeff and Allison. We changed back into our street clothes and handed our tuxes off to Jared. We then waited around in the lobby for Trevor and Becca to come down so we could say our goodbyes. They arrived looking incredibly tired but also incredibly happy, and I congratulated them for what must have been the tenth time that night. And as Tim and I left, I found myself a little disappointed that the whole thing was over.

This weekend will always remain one of my favorite memories. Thank you, Trevor and Rebecca, for allowing me to be a part of it. I know you two will be together forever and I feel honored to have seen it from the beginning.