Fashionably Late?

Our female intern—whom I suppose is a part of Generation Z, if I am in Gen-Y—was flipping through a copy of Wired Magazine that arrived in our office yesterday and she mentioned to me that there was an article about geek fashion. I asked to see the article, joking that I might be “behind the times.” She replied, “Yeah, I suppose yours is more ‘90s.” It honestly stopped me dead, although I tried not to show it outwardly. I know she didn’t mean any offense by it—then again, maybe she did; it’s hard to tell with these kids today—but it still made me suddenly paranoid that everyone who sees me dismisses me in the same way I dismiss a certain local actor whose hairstyle and manner of dress were most popular in, say, 1989.

People who know me understand that I’m not one of those people who keeps up on fashion trends. I still have shirts that I wore in high school, and they’re mainly striped or plaid button-down shirts (some flannel) that I alternate with colored T-shirts underneath. (Hell, I didn’t even start wearing anything other than white T-shirts until about a year ago.) I had gotten the impression that they were safely non-era-specific, but after this, I’m afraid that I was mistaken.

A large part of the problem is that I just hate shopping for clothes. I would honestly guess that it’s been about a year since I’ve done so. I have absolutely no idea what does and doesn’t look good. To be truthful, I don’t think there’s a whole lot that looks good on me. (I especially have to make sure that any shirts I wear extend past the waistline, otherwise I look like I have child-bearin’ hips. If I have to wear a suit, you can be dead certain I won’t be wearing it without the jacket unless no one else is around.) I become easily frustrated with the whole endeavor and just end up maybe buying another pair of jeans and a button-down shirt.

I think what would help immeasurably is if I actually went out shopping with one of my female friends. Well, at least one whom I think seems to have a good fashion sense. That way, it cuts down on the absolute boredom of shopping by oneself, plus there would actually be someone to say, “No, you can’t pull that off,” or, “Yes, that flatters you,” or whatever. Unfortunately, most of my female friends (especially the ones whose opinions I would really trust) live several hours away, so calling them up for a Saturday afternoon trip to the outlet stores is kind of out of the question.

Apart from that, I really need to look into getting a cheap elliptical machine, since I can’t jog anymore. (My achilles tendon hates me.) Perhaps if I lose some weight, I’ll have a more suitable frame from which to hang my clothing.